MEDICAL AID vs TAX REBATE


YOU CANNOT BEAT AN INDIAN


An Indian couple both age 37, went to a sex
therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "what can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual
intercourse?"


The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the
couple finished
having the intercourse, the doctor said, "There's
nothing wrong with
the
way
you have intercourse", and charged them R70.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple
would make an
appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay
the doctor, then
leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you
trying to find
out?"
The man said, "We're not trying to find out
anything.

She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm
married and we can't
go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges R225. The
Hilton charges
R879. We
do
it here for R70, and I get R65 back from Discovery
Medical Aid!"

MAN IS LYING IN BED IN THE HOSPITAL WITH AN OXYGEN MASK OVER HIS MOUTH. A YOUNG
NURSE APPEARS TO SPONGE HIS HANDS AND FEET. "NURSE", HE MUMBLES FROM BEHIND THE
MASK, "ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?" EMBARRASSED, THE YOUNG NURSE REPLIES,"I DON'T
KNOW, I'M ONLY HERE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AND FEET."
"HE STRUGGLES AGAIN TO ASK, NURSE, ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?" FINALLY, SHE PULLS
BACK THE COVERS, RAISES HIS GOWN, HOLDS HIS PENIS IN ONE HAND AND HIS TESTICLES
IN HER OTHER HAND AND TAKES A CLOSE LOOK AND SAY'S,

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!"

FINALLY, THE MAN PULLS OFF HIS OXYGEN MASK AND REPLIES,"THAT WAS VERY NICE
BUT, ARE... MY... TEST...RESULTS...BACK?"

Kwakulenye indoda yeskhalangeni ebikade ifuna ukuba umzulu mhlawumbe ithole umsebenzi egolie. Njengoba lisazi bakwethu ukuba uphile kuhle egoli kumele wazi isizulu. Ngakho ke lindoda kwayikhathaza kakhulu lokhu yaze yadinga omunye udokodela owathembisa ukuba angamenza ioperation akhuphe i 10% yeintelligence, afane noMzulu, becoz generally amaZulu are 10% less intelligent than amaKhalanga. Njengendoda eyayisiyi-desparado yavuma. ioperation yasisenziwa. Yenzeka ke inkemenkeme yendaba, udokotela nango ekhupha more than 10%, wakhupha 90%! Indoda le ithi uma ivuka udokotela wayibingelela "Uvuka njani ndoda?" yaphendula ithi "Ndamuka ko wamuka sei iwe?"!

Lewis's cousin, the farmer, ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.

Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his penis. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line.

"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."

One of the city's top cardic specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of roses.

When the Pastor finished the sermon, everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.

Suddenly,one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.

Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "Why are you laughing, Mister?"

"I was just thinking about my own funeral." the man replied. "I am a gynaecologist". <img border="0" alt="" title="" src="graemlins/kill.gif" />

woza lazo, musu'kusibulala ngembambo. Manje umhlobo wami ongumaBhimu yena uzakuthini mhla efileyo.

An illiterate Zwane went to the bank and pointed a gun on the cashier and said,
"Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"

The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY."

Poor Zwane answered, "Don't change the subject!"

THE ADVENTURES OF Dr Mzee

umzenda lomgabe loNyongolo babekudinner eGermany umgabe wasecela umzee ukuthi amnathise, umzee wafica izimpompi yigolide kuphela wazama ukutshila waswela izibambo walozame nix amanzi ngenkulu inhlanhla wasewabona kwenyindlu wavukutha awu wanatha wabhodla umgabe. uMdala wasecela laye kumzee wasukumela phezulu s'khatshana wayesephendukile engelawo amanzi, wathi lapho engikhele khona ushefu ngithole sekuhlezi umuntu.

Dear Mthwakazians,

We all know that it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman naked other than his wife, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So, this Saturday at 4:00 pm all women living in Mthwakazi are asked to walk out of their houses, completely naked, to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not Taliban, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wives and to show support for all Mthwakazian women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack of castle at your side would be a further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

The Mthwakazian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one
cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are
freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs.Your body heat
Will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day
the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said,"My hands are
freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of
my body will warm them up." He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the
daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied "Put it between my
legs.The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did, and warmed his nose. The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he

said, "My penis is frozen solid."

the following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her
mother again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a
penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said,"Why, yes. Why do you
ask?" The daughter replies,"They make one hell of a mess when they
defrost, don't they?"