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#22934 - 10/11/04 08:32 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke *****
soweto Offline
Sikhulu
*****

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 250
Loc: emazweni abanikazi
Lovemore Zvese

A man was walking through Chinatown when he noticed a sign reading: "lovemore zvese?s Chinese Laundry." Being of a curious nature, he entered and was greeted by an old Oriental man who identified himself as Lovemore zvese.
"How come you have a name like that?" inquired the stranger.
"Is simple," says the old Oriental man.
"Many, many year ago when come to this country, stand in immigration line behind a big Aflikan guy. Immigration lady look at him and go, "What your name?"
He say, "Lovemore Zvese"
Then she look at me and go, ?What your name??"
"I say, Sam Ting."

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#22935 - 10/12/04 02:10 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Zwangendaba Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 1399
Loc: New York, New York, USA
Bafowethu.

Mina I nominate u Kwazi Mina for an award.

The following is true. I was trying to print my flopy disk written in SiNdebele on an American computer and all the words were underlined in RED to indicate wrong spellings. So I decided to check if the PC had a Ndebele or Zulu dictionary. It did not have but next to each word I highlighted, the following were suggested correct alternatives to the SiNdebele words:
KADE - Kate / Keyed / Lade. THATHA - Thither / thatch - that. ISANDLA - sandal. LIYEZA - lies / lives. NTA - note. AMAJAHA - Jihad??? NGAPHANDLE - manhandle. UTHANGO - nothing. KODWA - alqaeda.

This could make a fascinating language.

Li Zwangendaba.

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#22936 - 10/12/04 02:53 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Mabila Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/14/04
Posts: 2124
Loc: Ayowa
Lapha sekufuneka ama breki bantu abAnye bazagula qiniso!
Amajaha=Jigad,
uthango=nothing,
kodwa=alqueda hk hk hk <img border="0" alt="[naughty]" title="" src="graemlins/naughty.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> Isilingu siyisitshupeti,
Umfazi=unfair hk hk hk hk hk


A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS:
"HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE
HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW." HE
LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY. "FIX THE LIGHT? NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."

"WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT." TO WHICH HE REPLIED- "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE DEFY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."

"FINE," SHE SAYS "THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE
STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK."
"I'M NOT A DARN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS,"HE SAYS. "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE FEDS DIY (DO IT YOURSELF)WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD
ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!"

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE HOURS.HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

"HONEY, HOW' DID ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND
CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE." HE SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?"

SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO........ DO
YOU SEE ALBANY'S BAKERY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?"

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#22937 - 10/12/04 07:15 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Dokotela Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/11/04
Posts: 1304
Loc: Emkhathini
A man had a problem, there was a red ring around his dick. He was really worried so he went to the doctor.

The doctor took a good look at it and then after awhile of uming and ering, he said "Well apply this on it and then come and see me in a few days."

The man was a bit relieved but was still worried about what would happen to his pride and joy. So that night before bed he applied the cream.

Sure enough by the morning the ring had disappeared. He was so happy he went straight to the doctors to tell him the good news.

He showed the doctor the ring was gone and the doctor was pleased.

The man asked him what the cream was.

The doctor replied, "Just lipstick remover."

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#22938 - 10/12/04 07:24 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Dokotela Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/11/04
Posts: 1304
Loc: Emkhathini
The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?"

She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big."

She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."

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#22939 - 10/12/04 07:34 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Sibambamahawu Offline
Ndunankulu
***

Registered: 05/04/04
Posts: 803
Loc: KwaGodlwayo
I nominate myself for the most prestigious award of being an avid reader of all your gorgeous and mbambo breaking jokes.

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#22940 - 10/12/04 08:31 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Dokotela Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/11/04
Posts: 1304
Loc: Emkhathini
<img src="http://www.crazy-jokes.com/pictures/perp.jpg" alt=" - " />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
<img src="http://www.crazy-jokes.com/pictures/ladycop.jpg" alt=" - " />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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#22941 - 10/12/04 09:01 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Nobesuthu Offline
Mafikizolo

Registered: 04/10/04
Posts: 31
Loc: SA
Hayi Dade Mabili unzima usikhumbuza emuva sizithola sisekolweni <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

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#22942 - 10/12/04 09:18 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
hlathi81 Offline
Ndunankulu

Registered: 10/14/03
Posts: 574
Loc: gwanda..
The list of nominees would be incomplete with out adding Kwazi Mina.If they are already enough nominees and he cannot fit in, I withdraw from the list and he can take my place as one of the nominees.

----------------
"Share your knowledge.It's a way to achieve immortality"

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#22943 - 10/12/04 09:45 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Ndebele phaqa Offline
Mafikizolo

Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 44
Loc: South Africa
Hayi Booooooooooooooooo laze langibulala bakithi!!
Sibili sibili lingenzani!!!!!!!
Mthwakazi please dont nominate me alongside kwazi, mabila, doc and company i am a adent reader of all your funnies guys so i will battle it out with Sibambamahawu on Best Reader Award.indondo yami ayikho creative njengezenu lina bantu abahle abalethuku bobotheka kimi.Keep up the good work guys.Thank you all

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