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#23504 - 04/21/05 04:07 AM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke *****
joskeyi Offline
Sakhamuzi

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 88
Loc: injololo
<img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> wema BKM gera ubukhokha isikhathi sonke lesi u blind ntombi.imiklomelo ngeyakho.

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#23505 - 04/21/05 01:46 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Dokotela Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/11/04
Posts: 1304
Loc: Emkhathini
Bafo

Cellphone with camera - Advert
-------------------------------

I did not find the correct column for this. Someone just sent me a new cell-phone, so I have
decided to sell my old one, its still in perfect condition. It has a camera.

Please fill free to submit your bids?. I have to say ? I will only give this to the highest bidder.

See attached photo by clicking here

Best Regards

Doc

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#23506 - 04/21/05 04:12 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
joskeyi Offline
Sakhamuzi

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 88
Loc: injololo
U ma hamba e cela u shintyi
There's this woman at Kwa Dukuza in the rural depth of KZN. She was literate, in a sense of literate.
One day the priest visited u MaKhoza, as he usually does at the village going around preaching the word of God.
U MaKhoza
was three months pregnant by then. U ba'bu Khoza was at work in Gauteng.
"Sawubona we MaKhoza,
"Sawubona ba'bu mfundisi", with immense and sincere respect you can imagine.
"Hawu bo MaKhoza, injani impilo"? Mfundisi asked.
"Cha baba, siya ncenga, ke pha ngino kuzwa amahlaba la esiswuni,"
U mfundisi asked that they pray for the pains to disappear.
Before he could conclude his prayer, mfundisi exclaimed:
Haaawu!! Hawu! Hawu! Hawu!,
Yini indaba mfundisi? Asked u MaKhoza
U baba wala e khaya, u cishe wenza iphutha elikhulu kabi.
Ungi tyelani ba'bu mfundisi?
Cha! Mama kuzo mele kube yi mina osizayo. Said the u mfundisi.
U baba wala kwakho u hambe enga lenzanga in khanda.
You can imagine how Mfundisi indulged himself.
Several weeks went by, u ba'bu Khoza came back from Gauteng for a week off.
Whiles they were eating supper, u Ma'mu Khoza related to him what happened.
Baba,
Yini?

"Haawu! U cishe wenza I phutha e li khulu,"
"I phutha, I phutha lani"?
"U ba'bu Mfundisi u seke wa dlula la e khaya u ngekho wena, ezo beka u mthandazo, wathi u shiye u ngenzanga I khanda lomntwana, wabe seka lenza"
The husband said nothing.
On a Monday midday, he went to the church. At his arrival he found the priest, in his garden sweating.
"Sawubona ba'bu mfunndisi"
"Sawubona ndodana"
"Mfundisi bengicela ushintyi" he had with him a two hundred rand note.
"Hawu! Ndodana, angi cabangi u kuthuthi ngi nawo waloyo mali."
Ku ngezeka ukuthi ukhona ba'bu mfundisi, u bo khumbula phela, be ku yi sonto I zolo".
"U qinisile ndodana, ngena e ndlini u cele u mam'fundisi abheke kuyo le yo mnthelelo"
Ndodana went in and asked ma'mfundisi.
"Mam'fundis, umfundisi uthi u u ngiphe.
"Cha! Ndodana, u qinisile"?
"Nge mpela unga mbuza"
"A nga yisho kanjani indaba enje, ha wuthi ngi mbuze".
Mam'fundisi, "Baba uthi ngimnike"?
Yebo mama, hawu msize.
The young men had fun with mam'fundisi.
On his way out he said " ngi ya bonga mfundisi"
"I Nkosi I ku busies ndodana", mfundisi replied.
During lunch time mam'fundisi called him for lunch.

During their lunch: "Haaawu! Baba, u nga yenza kanjani into enje."?
"Yini mama"?
"
"Wangi lalisa phezu kwe tafula lase khishi, wathatha u nyawo lolu, walu beka en tanyeni ku yena, ngathi ngisa bhekile, wa ngi phakamisa lona ugolo luse nga phakathi ki mina wangi beka e sofeni, wathatha iinyawo zombini wazi vula ka khulu wayi faka, ngezwa nami ukuthu angi kaze nga bhejwa kamnandi ka njena.
Wa ngi phethula nga hlala nje nge nja, hawu! Wayi faka, kuthi benginga memeza. Wa yi khipha baba wayi faka endunu, nga memeza, ngaze ngakhohlwa ukuthi ngingu mamfundisi. Yathi lapho ezo chama khona wangi phethula, wayifaka emlonyeni, ngayi cela, ngizwe ngo kushisa la e mphinjeni, naye e khala nje nge nkomo e hlinzwayo, ngayi khipha zangithela e busweni ngayi ncela futhi. Baba waze wa ngi bhebhisa nga leya ngani".
Mfundisi said nothing knowing what he did.
The following day, whilst umfundisi was watering his flowers, uba'bu Khazo rode pass with his bicycle, "Sawubona mfundisi"
"Ya! mahamba e cela ushintyi" said mfundisi.
"Nawe, mahamba ekhanda ama khanda"

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#23507 - 04/21/05 08:08 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
bunandi kill me Offline
Ndunankulu

Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 805
Loc: ezintembeni
hk hk hk hk jozi jozi aaaaaaa u rock <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

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#23508 - 04/22/05 10:25 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Dabukamhlaba Offline
Nduna
*****

Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 372
Loc: RSA
Hard of hearing


Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

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#23509 - 04/22/05 01:44 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
makhutshuza Offline
Mafikizolo

Registered: 03/27/05
Posts: 3
Loc: nkomponi
ngisakhokha ngiyeza nkazana bkm

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#23510 - 04/22/05 02:01 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Lobengula Offline
Nkosi
*****

Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 1077
Loc: Tsholotsho
The following are actual letters that Auntie Rhoda (Parade Magazine) herself
admitted she was at a loss to answer:


Dear Auntie Rhoda ,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted
him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen
again.

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

I was married to Murwere for three months, and I didn't know he drank until
one night he came home sober.

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this
baby I'm carrying is his

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym
teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two
women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their
apartment or come out. Do you think they could be lebanese?
****************************************************************************
*

Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
****************************************************************************
*

Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for
two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share
half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a
good Christian home turn against his own?

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist a visit an hour every
week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

****************************************************************************
*
Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I
tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
****************************************************************************
*

Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her
mental pause.
****************************************************************************
*

Dear Auntie Rhoda ,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him
to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a
doctor.

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#23511 - 04/22/05 03:39 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
Mabila Offline
Nkosi
***

Registered: 05/14/04
Posts: 2124
Loc: Ayowa
<img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> Kumnandi ukuba ngu Aunt Rhoda hk hk hk hk

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#23512 - 04/22/05 03:59 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
bunandi kill me Offline
Ndunankulu

Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 805
Loc: ezintembeni
<img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

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#23513 - 04/24/05 04:29 PM Re: Re: Imbambo az' yephuke
hlathi81 Offline
Ndunankulu

Registered: 10/14/03
Posts: 574
Loc: gwanda..
journalist: ' cde. chinotimba, now that elections have come and gone and yu are now back on yo farm, what are yo plans?'

chinoz: 'you know how much i love this country. i died for this country during the liberation struggle. i will work hard to ensure food security. come over here. yu see this portion, i will grow baked beans. on this other one i will grow tomato source.'

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