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#40500 - 10/09/08 03:41 PM
Re: IMBAMBO ZIYEPHUKA PART 2
[Re: mninimuzi]
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Mafikizolo
Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 28
Loc: bulawayo zimbabwe
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A Ndebele was sitting with a Shona and a Tonga in Saudi Arabia sharing a smuggled barrel of beer,when all of a sudden the police entered and arrested them.They were initially given a death sentence,but it was a national holiday the sheikh decided they should be released after each receiving 20 slashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment the sheikh said,'Its my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping,but you can not wish not to be whipped!".The Tonga thought for a second and said,"Please tie me a pillow before your whipping,".This was done but the pilow lasted 10 slashes.The shona saw this and said,"Pliz tie me two pillows to my back before whipping".
This was done and lasted 20 slashes.The Ndebele saw this, but before he could make his own wish the sheikh said,"As you are from the western Zimbabwe with all the poverty and you share the same ethnicity with Mqabuko you are permitted to have two wishes!"
The Ndebele thought for a second,then said,"Thank you most Royal and merciful highness.My first wish is to receive 100 slashes with strongest,toughest whip available."
"If you so desire" the sheikh replied with a questioning look on his face,"and your second wish?"
'Tie the Shona on my back"
_________________________
sesikhona thina oMpumas one time,uzowuzwa umoya
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#40509 - 10/10/08 05:00 PM
Re: IMBAMBO ZIYEPHUKA PART 2
[Re: bosso1926]
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Sakhamuzi
Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 53
Loc: Tsholotsho
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UThabo loZuma bathole icontract yokusurpler amawule ngo2010 kudwa uThabo utshele uZuma ukuthi kamethembi ngoba engadla isitoko.
_________________________
edlezinye
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#40513 - 10/10/08 06:31 PM
Re: IMBAMBO ZIYEPHUKA PART 2
[Re: bosso1926]
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Mafikizolo
Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 28
Loc: bulawayo zimbabwe
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wafa mthakathi
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4
parachutes. The first passenger said, "I'm Zinedine Zidane, the world's
number 1 footballer. FIFA needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the
first pack and left the plane. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said,
"I am the wife of the former President of the United States , I am the most
ambitious woman in the world. I am also New York Senator and a potential
future President." She just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the
plane. The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, "I'm President of Zimbabwe
and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for guidance.
Above all I'm the cleverest President in African history, and Africa 's
people won't let me die". So he put on a pack next to him and jumped out of
the plane. The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth
passenger, a 10yr old Chinese school boy, "I'm old and have lived a fruitful
life, God will decide my fate, so I'll let you have the last parachute". The
boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. Africa 's cleverest
President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag
--
Fear not, I will pilot thee
_________________________
sesikhona thina oMpumas one time,uzowuzwa umoya
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#40514 - 10/10/08 07:02 PM
Re: IMBAMBO ZIYEPHUKA PART 2
[Re: Zela]
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Mafikizolo
Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 28
Loc: bulawayo zimbabwe
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his first time
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist." :omg:lol::lol::rofl::rofl:
_________________________
sesikhona thina oMpumas one time,uzowuzwa umoya
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