Ndebele Guy Overheard in a fuel queue in Harare!

Tshomi: "ngifuna ipetulo

Attendant: "Unoda yemari?"

Tshomi: "uthini?."

Attendant: "I only speak Shona and English!"

Tshomi: "Noooo problem.... Good day to you, Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. Therefore, I cordially request you to transfer, from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim."

Attendant: "Hau?"

Tshomi: "Do you have a problem Sir? I thought you said you spoke English?"

Attendant: "English..... that, is not English!"

Tshomi: "My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognize the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication?"

Attendant: "Hau?"

Tshomi: "Let me attempt to elucidate in the most elementary terms your paltry grasp of the English vernacular is frittering away the time at my disposal, or, as I would put it, in a more civilized, intelligible language you understand. Ngilesifiso sokugqwalisa ingolovane yami ngamafutha la eliwanathayo njengoba kuyini lodwa elilawo kulelizwe lezimbagwe. Nxa ulohlupho lama berear cheque ngiyokudiza ngama Rands.