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#23264 01/27/05 01:31 PM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
Nkosi
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Nkosi
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
A sister just sent this to me and I have indeed responded like a woman hk hk!


Things that a woman cannot do!


1 Know anything about a car except its colour

2 Understand a film plot

3 Go 24 hours without sending a text message

4 Lift

5 Throw

6 Run

7 Park

8 Read a map

9 Rob a bank

10 Sit still

11 Tell a joke

12 Play pool

13 Pay for dinner

14 Eat a kebab while walking

15 Argue without shouting

16 Get told off without crying

17 Understand fruit machines

18 Walk past a shoe shop

19 Make a decent bacon sandwich

20 Not comment on strangers clothes

21 Use small amounts of toilet paper

22 Let you sleep with a hang over

23 Drink a pint gracefully

24 Get a round in

25 Throw a punch

26 Do magic

27 Like your friends

28 Eat a real hot curry

29 Get to the point

30 Buy plain envelopes

31 Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

32 Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "

33 Go shopping without telephoning 20 friends

34 Avoid credit card debt

35 Dive into a pool

36 Assemble furniture

37 Set a video recorder

38 Not try to change you

39 Watch a war film

40 Understand why flirting results in violence

41 Spend a day by themselves

42 Go to the toilet by themselves

43 Buy a purse that fits in your pocket

44 Choose a video quickly

45 Fart

46 Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

<img border="0" alt="kill" title="" src="graemlins/kill.gif" />

#23265 01/27/05 01:36 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 805
Ndunankulu
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Ndunankulu
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 805
wanted to urgue but since its expected wil shut up

<img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> hk hk

#23266 01/28/05 12:26 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 643
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Ndunankulu
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Ndunankulu
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 643
What's the difference between a CONDOM and a COFFIN?

Although they both carry stiffs,

ones used for COMING and the other is for GOING...!


A grade 3 pupil asks his teacher: "Sir, does honey have legs?"

Teacher: why do u ask such a question?

Pupil: cos every nite I always hear my dad say HONEY OPEN YOUR LEGS!

#23267 01/28/05 03:28 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
Nkosi
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Nkosi
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
Usuduba ngokusigera imbambo we Sgero <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

#23268 01/28/05 08:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 436
Nduna
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Nduna
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 436
Sgero...hk hk hk uyarocker sikhokho big up topi.ungihlephunile feya,kudlaa ngacina ukuhleka kanje..hk hk
shooh case

#23269 01/28/05 11:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 201
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Sikhulu
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Sikhulu
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 201
The South African province has a reputation for rigging their Matric (Form 5) exams. Here is one of the 2004 exam paper.


Mpumalanga Matric Question Paper



Time Limit: 3 WEEKS


Name: _____________________________


1. What language is spoken in Lesotho?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social
conditions -OR- give the first name of Jabu Pule.

3. Would you ask Mzekezeke to
___ (a) lecture a science class
___ (b) sail the ocean
___ (c) lead an army or
___ (d) sing kwaito

4 What religious denomination is the Pope?
___ (a) ZCC
___ (b) Catholic
___ (c) Atheist
___ (d) Zimbabwean
(make 2 guesses)

5. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little
hand is on the 6? (clue:30 minutes before Jam Alley on Fridays)

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are Xhosa-speaking people called?
___ (a) Shangaans
___ (b) Israelites
___ (c) Xhosas

9. Spell: Bush, Hussein and Mugabe

Bush: ____________________________________________
Hussein: __________________________________________
Mugabe: __________________________________________

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five:

11. Where does rain come from?
___ (a) Hollywood
___ (b) September 11
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) the sky


12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
___ (a) yes
___ (b) no

13. What are braai-stands used for?

14. The Springbok Rugby team plays?
(a)Black-maipatile
(b)Rugby

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-
spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

(a)2nd Floor

(b)At the bottom of the building

17. When can the sun be clearly seen?
___ (a) During the day
___ (b) At night

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you
have?

19. What does SABC (South African Broadcasting Corporation) stand
for?

20. The Auckland Park Wits University campus in Johannesburg, where
can it be found?

___ (a) Auckland Park
___ (b) Richards Bay

#23270 01/28/05 12:05 PM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 44
N
Mafikizolo
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Mafikizolo
N
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 44
HK Hk Hk liyangibulala bafowethu

This happened at the Matric exam room
The question was:Draw the female reproductive organ.

As the exam was on,

A girl looked between her legs and

A boy saw her and shouted " Sir she is copying from the original "

#23271 01/28/05 12:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 574
Ndunankulu
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Ndunankulu
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 574
phaqa, sgero u rock majida!!!

----------------
"Share your knowledge.It's a way to achieve immortality"

#23272 01/28/05 01:07 PM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 643
S
Ndunankulu
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Ndunankulu
S
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 643
gpn gpn gpn Phaqa, ZRP England isikudinga full force manje. Atleast abambambanga tracing!!

Ndumshy lawe usufuna ukungena ku wanted list for attempted murder gpn gpn gpn

<img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="clap" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

#23273 01/28/05 04:56 PM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
Nkosi
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Nkosi
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,124
Clever Wife

A Married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45mph.
The husband speaks again.
"I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60. "I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies-in a quiet and controlled voice,
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles.

"The airbag."

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