Inkundla Forums Inkundla (General) eZothamlilo Re: Imbambo az' yephuke

kusemtshoveni utshomi uhlezi duze kwemenya. Usethi kangikhombise ngezwi elinyenyezayo. Yatsho imenya ngezwi eliqongileyo: "Angifuni mani tshiyana lami"
ujaha ngezwi eliqongileyo - "Awufun'ukuthin'ulokh'upheth'usuza lapha, Phangis'uvul'iwindi lelo"

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR SECRETARY DOES THIS TO YOU?
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I was not feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday", and probably have a present for me. She did
not even say "Good Morning", let alone "Happy Birthday". I
thought, "Well, that's what wives are for. The children will remember".
The children came in for breakfast and did not say a word.
When I started for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday." I felt a little better, at least someone remembered. I worked until noon, then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, wow, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day, let's go." We went to lunch. We didnot go where we normally go.

We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way, back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."After arriving at her apartment, she says,
Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'II go into the bedroom and slip into something comfortable. "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in
about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends. All were all singing
Happy Birthday ...................and there I sat on the
couch,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, naked already???.
All I could say was, "You're fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Umama wekhaya uzwakala esecula 'unkosi sikelel'iafrika'.
Abuze ubaba kumkakhe ukuthi yini ecula inationala anthem ngesikhathi sokulala.Athi umama,'Uma kuculwa leliculo wonke umuntu uyasukuma.Nginethemba lokuthi lomthondo wakho uzosukuma,sengifile indlala.

Waphose wangisiza...!

"Njengoba bengitshilo mhlalokhuyana nakaBuhle ukuthi ngeKhisimusi kuzamele kesiyethethela ekhaya, manje sekuzamele sihambe kusasa okusayo! Nomakanjani!"
"Hawu!" imangale inkosikazi ihlalisisa kahle esofeni."Sesiphuthuma nje sekutheni?"
"Futh' imihlolo ngtsh' ubaba!"
"Kutheni yise kaBuhle?"
"Ofiley' ungcono kakhulu!"
Isukume manje inkosikazi iyeguqa phambi komkayo imbambe amadolo ithi; "Awu bo! Kutheni Mdluli? Kwenzenjani bakithi?"
"Ngisinde manayinayi. Imota ebesiyigadile isuke yaphela amafutha sesis'Emakhandeni. Pho ngathi hatshi, akuselandaba, kambe i-Cowdray Park isisemnyango nje ngisakhalelani? Yimi lowa ngiqumela ngokuyindledlana lokhu okungentshonalanga komgwaqo. Cala celeni mina ngiziqhunsela umlozwi ngicabanga ngalombhedo wamaShona umlambaswina! Nxa nje ngiseqa isipolo phuthuphuthu! Zasezingidumele izinswelaboya ezimbili! He-e-e! Awukaz' ubone! Ngaxukuxa isandla ngayimumathisa eyodwa ngesibhakela. Kanti sengiyilahlile! Nampo bengibambisana bengidonsela esipolweni bethi abaselandaba lemali yami, kuphela sebezoquma sonalesi isandla esilenkani.
"Lakanye bangilalise qede omunye angihlale amadundulu aqamelise isandla sami esipolweni, abesethi umkhula wakhe akasigamule ngehloka. Ngaleyonkathi kimi lapha amabhulugwe asevele athamba nje, asejuluka! Hatshi-ke angazi ukuba ntelezi bani ekulesi sandla?" Etsho esiphenduphendula esibuka, lenkosikazi imane isithaphe ngamehlo ithule zwi!
"Okokuqala," kuqhuba usekaBuhle. "Ath' uyasigeca akhuthe agangade isipolo kuvayime inhlansi ezesabekayo. Okwesibili wavele wahlahlela umkhula wakhe wamjuqa okuyisandla kwayawela le! Uthe -ke eseqiswa yibuhlungu unjuqusandla lothu mina okohlamvu, ngathathela! Imota ingumfana! Ngisinde kanja...."
"Awu futhi Nkulunkulu wami! Waphose-e-e, waphos...maye mina..." sekukhala inkosikazi isukuma ifika izilahla esofeni. Impela samqumbaqumba lesisikhalo usekaBuhle, ubengazi ukuba unakaBuhle umthanda kangaka! Pho uma emkhalela ephose walimala kutsho ukuthi mhlazana efayo isililo sizovimba i-Bulawayo yonke.
"Bakithi Nkosi yami!" kuqhubeka inkosikazi ikhala. "Nkosi yami! Kambe wapho...hi-hi-hi! Waphose-e----wapho...hi-hi! Waphose wangisiza nje! Awu, Nkosi yami, kunini singibhansa singibhaxabula lesi sandla? Wabuye wasisindisa futhi? Hi-hi-hi...! Nkulunkulu wami! Bekulani usiqume bo lami kengiphumule, kengiqhele njengabanye abafazi? Waphose wangisiza nje Nkosi yami, hi...!"

Beautiful language and very well narrated. Kanti vele lisiduxuzelani??

Bafowethu.

There is a saying that goes, "GAYS ARE VERY LOYAL. THEY NEVER LEAVE THEIR FRIEND'S BEHIND."

Li Zwangendaba.

[]... Kanti vele lisiduxuzelani?? [/]
Hawu dades, yiyiphi linsizwa ekuduxuzayo? Tshela mina ngile-recipe yokuyi-kanika.

Behlangene abafundisi abathathu bamabandla ehlukeneyo bethi batshaywe ngumoya reflecting on their weaknesses.

1st Mfundisi: Mina bazalwane esami isono ngesokweba. Vikizonke angiyekeli ukuzinceda ngemadlana yokudlulisa iviki imnikelweni webandla. Ngincedeni lingithandazele lesisono.

2nd Mfundisi: Mina esami ngesabomama. Bantu sengidlule kubobonke labo abangazibekanga. Eqala ingoma nje owesifazane ungivusela uhlanya lwami oluleleyo. Lami ngicela umthandazo.

Babona lo owesithathu engasaphathekanga bacabange ukuthi mhlawumbe esakhe isono siyesabeka. Hayi lifike elakhe ithuba esegida.

3rd Mfundisi: Esami bazalwane ngesokuhleba selingi phuzele ukuthi ngiyo tshela abantu engukuzwileyo.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha baze bazithela emanyaleni abafundisi shame lol ha ha ha.

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Spot, the family dog.

When asked why by her former employer, she answered, "I never forget a friend. That was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"