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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 372
Nduna
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Nduna
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 372
WHY MEN'S LETTERS TO SIS DOLLY ARE NEVER PRINTED

Dear Sis Dolly,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she
always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked up her cell phone just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my 2006 Yamaha R1 motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my Yamaha R1, that I
noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking some oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
dealer?

Thanks,


'tjozanazana tjonanayila tjondikumbudza kanyi'
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 19
M
Mafikizolo
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Mafikizolo
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 19
Perfect, exellanto,what a joke!!!!

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 230
Sikhulu
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Sikhulu
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 230
A priest lost his rooster (male chicken) and all his search
> efforts
>> > > proved fruitless. he then decided to mention it in church so
>> > > that anyone who knows its whereabouts, could advise accordingly.
>> > >
>> > > The following Sunday, while in church, he asked: " who has a
> cock?" ,
>> > > and all men stood up including his 87-year old grandfather.
>> > > Embarrassed and not knowing what to say next, he said: " I mean,
> who,
>> >
>> > > amongst you, saw a cock last night?". All the women stood up,
>> > > including his 13-year old daughter.
>> > >
>> > > The priest started to blush when he realized what implications
> that
>> > > will have on his image. He then asked:" No, no, no. What I mean
> is,
>> > > who, in the last two weeks in this church, has seen my cock?"
>> > > All
> the
>> >
>> > > nuns stood up.
>> > > He fainted!!!
>>
>


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power.
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Nduna
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Nduna
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
The Geography of a Woman:


Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become Albania . Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man:

Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like ZIMBABWE......ruled by


Masiyephambili!
To err is humane..But when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil,you are overdoing it.
lgeja libuya nenkankula
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Nduna
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Nduna
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Johnny wanted to have sex with the girl in his office.....but she
>was involved with someone else...One day Johnny got so frustrated
>that he went up to her and said I'll give you a ?1000 if you will
>have sex with me ...but the girl said NO. Johnny said I'll be fast,
>I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished
>by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that
>she would have to consult her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend
>and told him the story. Her boyfriend said ask him for ?2000,
>>pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants
>>down. So she agreed and accepted the proposal. Half an hour went by
>>and the boyfriend waited and waited for his girlfriend to call.
>>Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend called and asked what
>>happened......She said "The bastard used coins..
>


Masiyephambili!
To err is humane..But when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil,you are overdoing it.
lgeja libuya nenkankula
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,304
Nkosi
***
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Nkosi
***
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,304
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.


Strength of attitude becomes strength of character.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,399
Z
Nkosi
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Nkosi
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Z
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,399
Bafowethu.

Doc akuyephumula ubuye usibulale NEXT YEAR. Aahg wena.

BAzammumuza aze ancibilike myekele so. Uzicelele.

Li Zwangendaba.

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Nduna
*****
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Nduna
*****
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She
watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were
dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she
replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back
seat of my car ?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself
into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when
he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my
daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years?" "I remember
that, too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek
and said "I would have been out of jail today and a free man!"
************************************************************************************


Masiyephambili!
To err is humane..But when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil,you are overdoing it.
lgeja libuya nenkankula
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 372
Nduna
*****
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Nduna
*****
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 372
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.

They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more".

They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.

The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank,
picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come.

But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger.He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow.

He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't
allow me to go..." : ) ......


'tjozanazana tjonanayila tjondikumbudza kanyi'
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Nduna
*****
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Nduna
*****
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 456
Gauteng Metro policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt he had just won R5 000, in an Arrive Alive safety competition.Being a Zimbabwean, the driver could hardly believe his luck. "What are you going to do with your cash?" asked the traffic cop.
"Well I guess I'm going to get a drivers license," he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He tries to be smart when he's drunk." This woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned,
"I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the boot and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"




Masiyephambili!
To err is humane..But when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil,you are overdoing it.
lgeja libuya nenkankula
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