Inkundla Forums Inkundla (General) eZothamlilo IMBAMBO ZIYEPHUKA PART 2

Kwanzima bakithi !!!!

Nazo-ke bakwethu. Lencwadi ibhalwe njengoba yatholwa.Akuguqulwanga
lutho,futhi akukho lutho olufakelwe.

Ya Thami,
Empilweni angiphili ngenziwa nguwena.Isisho siyasho ukuthi into enhle
ayidingi ukoniwa.Ungathi wena wanikwa ithuba wadlala ngalo bese ufuna
ukonela abanye.
Point No 1
Mina angisakufuni,futhi ngiyakuzonda.Le decision kade ngayithatha from
December.Ngidinwa yizinto owazenza esingekho nesidingo sokuthi
ngizichaze ngoba uyazazi

Point No 2:
Wena into engenza ngikuzonde ukuthi wena ucabanga ukuthi unegolide kanti
cha.Wena usuhamba utshela amafriends akho ukuthi mina ngiyakulandela,
wena awusangifuni ,Ukhohliwe ukuthi nguwena owangisukela weza kithi
futhi wangifonela uthi ngize , ngeza namingithi ngizozwa ukuthi uthini ,
only to find ukuthi ukhuluma ezothando,
nami ngehlisa umoya.Ususuka lapho utshela abangani bakho uma ngifuna
into bese uthi ngizozama inhlanhla kuwe , kanti wena ucabanga utkuthi
ungubani?
Bakwenza isilima ngoba bona bayazondla izintombi zabo.Futhi engithanda
ukukugcizelela ukuthi wena ufanele ukuthi ungiphe imali or anything
engiyidingayo ngoba:
1.Umubi wena kungathi wawubhoshelwa abantu ufana nesibuxesi mina
ngimuhle. Ngaleyo ndlela uyangincenga ukuthi mina ngijole nawe. Uma
kuthiwa waba yisikhindi wawuzoba uwakiki , uma kuthiwa waba wumoya
wawuzoba umsuzo , uma kuthiwa waba yimbobo wawuzoba yimbobo
yokubhosha,Uma kuthiwa waba amehlo wawuzoba yindlobho, uma kuthiwa waba
yizicathulo wawuzoba yizimbadada.

2.Ugqoka kabi awuphethe sitayela.

3.Awungibhebhi , ungishaya nto ka 1 round ebhorayo.Kulowo 1 wakho
uyashesha nokuchama bese uthi unenyongo.Ayikho intombazane engayimela
lento,ulibele ukuthi wena wawucushiwe kanti vele awunaso nesitamina
futhi uhluleka nokufenda ,uze ufendiswe yimi,sisi!!!!Kulowo mzuzu ipipi
lakho kungathi ucikicane (uyisidalwa oe)

4.Awungikhiphi .Into oyaziyo ukuhirisha izithombe zo James Bond
ungigqume emjondolo wakho.

5.Nawe futhi ububona ukuthi uzongiluza ngoba awunawo ama qualities
okuthi ungajola nami.Futhi bengikuzama ngokujola nawe ,abantu bese bethi
sengiyahlanya yini ngokuthi ngijole nomuntu oyi opposite yami.

6.Ngicela wazi ukuthi sengijola nomngani wakho uNhlanhla, muhle ugqoka
kahle uyangibhebha futhi unepipi elikhulu leli engilidingayo.Uma
engibhebha kungathi ubhebha intombi nto kwazise ukuthi he's to big for
my vagina lento yona engayazi.

7.Sengishilo ukuthi angisakufuni futhi angisoze ngakufuna.Khohlwa
yimina.Indaba ye Cap ithi ngeke uyithole i Cap yakho,kungcono ukhohlwe
yiyo.Uma ufuna i Cap yakho nami ngicela ingquza(ikuku) yami.Hayi-ke
lapho uzoyithola iCap yakho.Futhi ungalibele ungimisa emgwaqeni not
unless uphethe ingquza yami ngesandla.


Okay
Good luck totolozana!!!!
Igama ligodliwe...............

A gay guy is in a public toilet doing his business at the urinal when
Another gentleman stands next to him.

The guys pulls out his manhood and starts to do his thing.

The mofie couldn't help but notice how large the stranger's "tool" was.
With his eyes wide open he asks the stranger, "What on earth is
that????"

The stranger replies, "That's my petrol pump...."

The mofie excitedly takes his wallet out, bends over with his ass high
in the air and says......." I'll have a R100 unleaded please....

The Proprietor of an underwear making company was having a tough time with stock shortages. On departure for home all employees' bags were searched and everything always seemed to be ok. All security measures you can think of were put in place, but still no one was caught and stock continued to disappear. In addition to all the available security, all employees including mgt were to be checked if on departure each was wearing just one pair of panties. Stock still went missing and no one was caught with more than one pair.

Then one day he had a dream. He was being advised to check the employees on arrival.

He got the shock of his life when he found that ??????????.

NONE OF THE EMPLOYEES INCLUDING MANAGEMENT HAD A PAIR OF PANTIES ON THEM.

hk ha hkhk hk ayi yuangiqamula yazi

IMITHETHO YENDODA

1. Mcuphe umfazi.

2. Mdlise ezwe wena.

3. Akalahle abangani bakhe.

4. Mfihlele inombolo yakho yase bangi.

5. Umhholo wakhe awunike wena wonke.

6. Angaligqoki idilozi uma kuyolalwa.

7. Ukudla makungezi kuwe sekuphakiwe ? uzokudlisa.

8. Bangavakasha osbali bakho besfazane - not abesilisa.

9. Uma nixabene mngenise ekamelweni a-Modele, sibone ukuthi nizophuma nisaxabene yini.

10. Ungavumi akuthinte isende, habe uyohlale ucabanga yena yedwa abafazi bebaningi kangaka.

11. Ungahleki kakhulu naye uzokujwayela.

12. Yiba namandla ocansini uchathe, alamanise eduze umqede inkani.

13. Umfazi akuyena owakini. Ukuze ungaphoxeki ngolunye usuku, thola omunye umfazi wesibili.

14. Ubomsakaza ngempama umfazi kungenzekanga lutho nje, abuye axolise yena kuwe.

15. Akubize ngesthakazelo sakho, hayi ngegama. Uzalwa uye yini?

16. Mudle ngendlela yokuthi angayicabangi enye indoda ukuthi inepipi.

17. Uma ekubambe nentombi, ungaxolisi mngene ngepipi engakakhulumi nje.

18. Umfazi kufanele akwamukele ukuthi kungenzeka izingane zakomakhelwane zifane nawe.

19. Mxoshe uma ethi lincane ipipi lakho, imihlola yini lincane uma eliqhathanisa nelikabani.

20. Angalokothi agibele ngaphezulu noma afende, ubufebe lobo, wafundiswa ubani lokho.



Uma uyindoda phalaza bayadlisana labantu.

inkundla

Jokes for the new year


New Year Prayer for the Elderly

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,

And the eyesight to tell the difference.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


New Year?s Day Prayer for one and all

Dear Lord, so far this year I?ve done well. I haven?t gossiped, I haven?t lost my temper, I haven?t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I?m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I?m going to get out of bed, and from then on I?m probably going to need a lot more help. Amen



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A New Year?s Wish

On New Year?s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.


Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


How to Quit Smoking

Peter, at a New Year?s party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.


?I thought you made a New Year?s resolution to quit smoking,? Ken responds.

?I?m in the process of quitting,? replies Peter with a grin. ?Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.?


?Phase one?? wonders Ken.


?Yeah,? laughs Peter, ?I?ve quit buying.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year?s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ?I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year?s present. What do you think it all means??


?Aha, you?ll know tonight,? answered Max smiling broadly.


At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: ?The meaning of dreams?.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


?A New Year?s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other? - Anonymous




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


?Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account? - Oscar Wilde

Umbalisikazi uficwe ngamaWhorevet ebiza i-register:

Siphilanzima Mdlongwa, Sizolithath'ilizwe Gumede, Sibuswayizinja Khumalo, Kozekubenini Mdluli....etc