are we effective in conveying our emotions to other people ,do we find it hard to be understood,are we constantly frustrated in that people do not see our side of the story.let us talk about communication

Segbengu

Lawe sesikwazi so ukuthi uyisigebengu
esiluhlaza!

Singizwe kanengi ukuthi nxa uthethe kumbe njalo ungaka thathi, kumele ngezinye izikhathi ujikise, umtshaye umfazi blayind.

To make things worse, ngakuzwa khonokho ngabantu besifazane besithi, "ungavele wekele ukungitshaya, uthando alikhuli".

Yikho ke ngibona angani abanye icommunication yikutshayana. Mina hatshi angitshayi muntu, kodwa bakhona na abavumelana lami, asebeke bakuzwa lokhu kumbe abale experience?

Dokotela,

Yeyeni bantu! Omama laba ababencoma ukutshaywa babendile? Babethi batshaywe ngani, ngempama? ngani? Yini abayibona iqondile ukuthi bayitshayelwe?

Kimi ukutshaya umfazi kutshengisa ukwehluleka kwendoda! That is a man out of total control of himself and his emotions. Kakakhuli! Otshayayo akame ukuthatha pliz. Kanye lo mama otshaya indoda, kathsiyane lomtanabantu, kazibuthanga!

Yena omelwa ukutshaywa utshengisa ukugula ingqondo okumangalisayo. Yini emnandi ngoku rikithwa mihla nge mihla? Satsha! Abantwana bafundani khonapho. Abafana bafunda ukuthi kusasa bagongode lamantombazana afunda ukuthi kusasa agongodwe. Xolani Mthwakazi....le hayi!

Hayi bo....hayi ukutshaywa ngiyakwesaba!

Mabila.

Ungomunye wengxenye eliyingcosana, engasekeli ukutshaywa. Bendile omama labo. Ngike ngahlangana lama ntombazana ambalwa athi wona afuna utshomi ongani kajwayeleki. Othi zinga bheda akutshaye blayind, ikakhulu enyameni ezibuthakathaka - hatshi ebusweni kumbe inyawo. Engaqeda ukutshaya akuthulise futhi, esithi ungakhala uzakuphinda.

Mina ngokwami angivumelani lokutshaya, kumbe ukutshaywa kodwa sengibonile kwabanye ukuthi abanye bayakuqakathekisa, loba kukhanya kungela ngqondo. Kibo icommunication ingehlula sokuyiwa ezandleni.

Kudala umfazi wayetshaywa nge ntonga, kodwa khathesi ngibona labo abatshayayo basebenzisa okwehlukeneyo, njenge bhanti e.t.c.

Ngilabafakazi abanengi abake bezwa ngalokho engikutshoyo. Angazi ukuthi abakhona na eNkundleni abake bakuzwa ukuthi kumele ngezikhathi ngezikhathi uke umkarabhe umfazi. Ungaqeda umqabuze umtshele ukuthi umtshaya ngoba uyamthanda njalo ufuna alandele indlela eqondileyo. Njalo katshaywa nsukuzonke, hatshi engxenye kanye phakathi kwe nyanga ezimbili kumbe ezintathu.

Kubi kodwa yi comminication efunwa ngamanye amantombazana.

Hayi yona intonga ayakhi muzi ,koniwa ngomlomo kulungiswe ngomlomo not ngobhulo

Bathi ayakhi intonga, kodwa iyawu qondisa.

ke ngibuze ku Nobesuthu.

Dade uyabazi wena laba omama? Bangani bala ma saddistic tendencies konke labo mkabo. Uswazi lubuhlungu bantu. Satshaywa ngemakhaya lezikolweni le mendweni futhi? Awuuuuuu????

Mina ngazi ukuthi omama bafuna obaba aba in control, a leader, someone in charge maybe yikho ukushwaqa lokho okutshoyo Dokotela asazi....kind of as potrayed by isimo sika Tshaka esibuthola empikitsheni eminengi. Omama bafuna indoda emadodeni hatshi indoda ebafazini.

Uswazi lukamama lunye bantu....olwenyama!

Abesifazane bafuna indoda e-in control, liqiniso leli? Akusho wedadewethu ukuthi indoda iba in control kanjani, ngoba we risk to be called names such as "....chuavinists" or still living in the past, yet if we don't and practice a laissezfaire style of leadership our woman start ukuthi basidelele. Eyokushaya angivumelani layo kodwa into ekhulunywa ngumfowethu liqiniso, banengi osisi sibezwa besho ukuthi bafuna indoda eshayayo.

Absolutely Sibambamahawu. I am not talking of a commander-in chief but control in terms of strength of character. This implies success (not necessarily wealth) at managing himself first, at home, at work and in all other significant relationships.Asifuni baba abadonswa ngamakhala. A man who can stand his own! That is a man in control.

i communication iyahlupha ngoba it has to be understood on both sides by both parties involved ,so in essence iunderstanding yomuntu is based on past experience,intellect and the general will to understand including i character lepersonality yomuntu.it is very true that some women bafuna ukutshaywa coz that is the only way they know how love is expressed,do not get me wrong i am a fuddy duddy and i would never beat my sweetheart kodwa ke iqiniso yikuthi bakhona.
you just have to find your common frequency labantu as it is a waste of time to deliver an electronics lecture in cantonese to a bunch of rural khoisan,do you get my point????

Pho laba omama okuthiwa batshaya amadoda lithini ngabo? Indoda kufanele yenzeni nxa izithola iku situation efana laleyo? Isikhathi esinengi iyesaba ukuya emapholiseni noma ukutshela abantu ngenxa yamahloni lokwesaba ukutshaywa okuphindiweyo ngunkosikazi.

lapho baleka! Ungathola umama otshayayo hk hk hk kunzima. Awusayi lemadodeni kumbe edale ngoba bazakuthi, "ayi Sibanibani wena thula kukhulume amadoda."

Udubo kusimo esinjalo (loba ngubaba kumbe ngumama otshayayo) yikuthi loyo otshaywayo ulothando kumuntu loyo. Ungaze ucebise ukuthi yekela i doti yakho leya, uthola umuntu wakhona emuka abuye abuyele ethi uzulunga. Lusizi lolu.

Lokhu akwenzakali emendweni kuphela, langesikhathi se courtship bayadutshuzana abantu, but still hold on to the bashers. Ngike ngaba le ntombi eyayikhombe inkalakatha ka guluva,engamrikithi nje elomuntu phansi. Mina sengiyabuye lamaluba le soft soft, walela khona lamanxeba akhe kulowo guluva.

Dok, bakhona sibili abathanda ukutshaywa now and again.

Ungenza njani nxa uthole ofuna ukutshaywa kodwa wena ungakuboni njengendlela enhle yoku thandana.

Sgebengu mfowethu, ungathini?

Omunye untombazana, uyaku buza ukuthi kungani ungazondi, ngoba ekholwa ukuthi ozondileyo uyalwa. Yikho ke, wonke amadoda kumele abese sigabeni sokuthi ayakwazi ukuthi, emzini wabo kuyini okukhuluma ngcono - ngumlomo kumbe njalo luswazi.

Kumele lapho seliqedile ukulwa, licabuzane bese lidlala eminye imidlalo. Kungabi lo lala ecasukile. Icansi khonapho akumelanga liswelakale. Akumelanga ukulwa kwenze ukuthi icansi liswelakale. Odadewethu balaywa ngakho lokho, ukuthi kumele ba gcine isaka likababa lingela mhluzi, ngoba abanye odade banga khothuluza izankefu.

Ekwakheni imizi, sikhulume ngalo icansi. Icansi liyindlela yoku xoxa lowangakwakho, ngendlela ephezulu. Yikho liqakathekile.

Kulabo abatshaywa ngabafazi, Hk, Hk. Uxolo bafowethu bathi abadala ithendele elihle ngelikhala libaleka, kodwa njalo usane olunga khaliyo lufela embelekweni. Cebani emapholiseni, akula mfazi ovunyelwe ukutshaya umkakhe. Kungcono ukudlalela egym bafowethu, kumbe ngale ku "taekwondo" nxa kusehlula.

Ye.. Sgero asuwe wedwa, lami omunye osisi wangitshela mgceke ukuthi yena, akengeze ahambisane lami ngoba ngisiza lamaluba lo buthakathaka. Wathi yena ufuna impintshi ebulala inyoni okwedlulisileyo, elwayo blayind, elegeje elinengi, engathi ayila thando, engaqedakaliyo.

Impintshi eziyiz dlova, izikliwi ezingama sela yizo ozithola zilama fenda blayind ngoba bayalwa.

Inkulumo yabo yikulwa.

Ngithunyezelwe itext message ethi "To be happy with a woman u must love her a lot and not try to understand her"

Enye yakhona isithi

"To be happy with a man u must understand him a lot and not try to love him"

Liqiniso yini leli?

Uyabona ke Dokotela, thina we NEED to feel secure with our men. Lapho khona, we are that basic. Ngabona kulapho okuvela khona ukuthanda kwethu lowo muntu ongaqedakaliyo omtshoyo.Asifuni ndoda ezathi abanye bebulala inyoka yena efonela amapholisa, kumbe ezabe iseqa lathi ingabona unwabu kumbe umbakwa. Indoda kumbe ijaha ngelikuvikelayo when a need arises. Isibindi lesi esitshengiswa yilaba othi ngaba qedakali, ngabona yiso esi attractive kubo for us.
Besebeduba ke bona ngokuhlanganisa lathi ke ekutshayeni lapha. I softy softy ilendawo zayo layo. Amaluba siyawathanda futhi

What confusion but it's true! Ngilamanga Nobe?

Sengifundile manje, Osemqulwini uyazizwela. Ulwazi ngu***godla wempilo!

Ngizakulwa blayind, ngimkarabhe umtanabantu aze athi "ex-tshuzi!". Ngibona angathi kungangi nceda. Nginga bona inyoka ngiya buya layo ekhaya ngizoyi bulalela khonapho.

Ngithi ngingaqeda lapho ngibe soft blayind, kuthi ingqe isikhathi ngi jikise ngihwabhe aze adabuke indlebe. Hk Hk

Hk hk hk hk Dokotela aah yeyi bantu! Uzathwala inyoka uyeyibulalela ku mafenda mayeeee! I guess uzathwala osanda kuyibulawelwa lawe!


Find the centre betwen the two extremes and you will be fine.

Mabila, Isenta inzima dade. Uyazi ukuthi now its beginning to make sense. Ungamkarabha umfazi blayind, loku baleka kabaleki, uyathembeka blayind, akuncanywe wesi, uhle akwesabe. Hk.

Kodwa njengokutsho kwakho kufuna ngamanye amalanga uze lama tshokholethi lamaluba lama smayili.

Sifuna abalolwazi basitshele ukuthi umfazi utshaywa njani, hatshi okomthondo kuphela. Sifuna ukubakwazi ngoba singamtshaya aze aphambane ingqondo.

Dokotela,

Kambe ungathanda umuntu okuncanywa ngoba ekwesaba? Aseyilo Thando phela lolo. Leli ngcwele ugwalo luyatsho ukuthi "Love hath no fear,"
The question to ask I guess is why do we communicate as abantu abathandanayo. For men it is a power game. For women it is to build connections lobungane. How do we then build trust thina sidonselana?

Bafowethu.

Umfazi utshaywa ngomlomo. Mina owami umlomo uyanuka nxa ngikhuza. Njalo uyanukelela nxa ngonile kuyimi engixolisayo.

Kuyalwiwa ezindlini lapha. Kodwa ngiyaqala ukuzwa ukuthi bakhona omama abakuthandayo ukutshaywa.

Li Zwangendaba.

Mina sengibone abafazi abahlala betshaywa ngamadoda abo besiba yiziqholo ngoba besazi ukuthi induku iyakhala whether or not bonile so bacina besithi kabaluzi lutho....I once heard a story of indoda eyayihlala itshaya umkayo every Friday nxa isivela etshwaleni kwathi ngelinye ilanga (Friday) yabuya idiniwe so yafika yaphiwa ukudla kwayo,yadla, khonokho nje yabutshisa ubuthongo okwaba yisimangaliso kumama ngoba ejwayele ukuthi ziyakhala lamuhla so uthe ebona ukuthi lubaba akasoze enze lutho namuhla wahwatsha induku ngaphansi kombheda waqala uktshaya indoda ethi "vuka phela wenze okwensukwini" ....manje singathi luthando yini lolu.

Ukutshayana kuvele akukuhle. Lothando luyabe lungasekho. Kanti yena umuntu uyabe esithethe ngaphi isibindi sokusukela umkakhe? Ubusumkhangela njani kusisa kwakhona?

Laba omama abafuna icansi nsukuzonke, sengake ngezwa abanye bakhona behleba besithi bayalifuna even if they do not enjoy it simply to drain the man of any sexual desire. Manje singathi yimpilo yonale. Such women are usually very insecure in their relationships, and usually uyabe ekwazi ukuthi indoda leyo ahlezi layo ayimthandi kangako. And if given a chance the man will go for another woman. So bakithi kumele sivume ukuthi icansi kwesinye isikhathi alitshengisi thando.

Kulomunye umfowethu owayelungiselela ukuthatha omunye usisi, esitsha ephola ngaye. Every Friday imota yayigebha isiya esikolo lapho okwakufundisa ludade, 200 kilometres away. Phela thina amagents siyaxoa kwesinye isikhathi. Utshomi uthi amacansi ayesitsha. Kube kuhle kube njeya.

Utshomi uthi imenya le had a habit of waking up, and running to the bathroom soon after the act. But utshomi engakutshayi mkhuba. Sekusithi ngelinye ilanga, esanda kuqeda ukwenza into leyana uselandela esambuzini efuna ukuyachitha. Wafica usisi ehlanza okubi. Sembuza ukuthi kanti kutheni. The woman confessed ukuthi sonke isikhathi ngemva kwecansi uyahlanza aze agomele. But this is the same woman who will not say no to sex. The guy went into a depression ngoba he could not believe ukuthi umfazi afuna ukumthatha umenyanya kangaka, futhi njalo uvele kamthandi ngitsho lakancane. The guy called off the wedding, because it was obvious that this woman would do anything to get married.

What I learnt from this is that sometimes we black people, are not sincere about our emotions. We claim to love sometimes when we don't. Icansi in my view lingaqinisa uthando, kodwa banengi abantu abathatheneyo abalala bonke emacansini bengathandani fokolo. In fact a lot of women stay loba sewayalwa simply because she occasionally gets raped by her husband. I call it rape ngoba nxa umuntu engakuxoxisi, engavakatshi lawe, engakwejisi lawe, kodwa kwezinye insuku akukhwele, what is that?

Maybe divorce rates are low in African society because we do not communicate openly.

Ameni ameni ameni Samdala!

Mina ngokwami ngibona kungamanyala wodwa ukuba indoda itshaye umfazi! Kangiboni lokuba ngingalala njani lonkosikazi nxa ngamanye amalanga ngimlumela umlomo wangaphansi ngimfumbathela! Yikwenza umuntu abe yisigqili sakho. Owami unkosikazi engangichaphula, ngiyazama ukukhuluma laye ngendlela eyakhayo hatshi ukumtshaya, ngizame ukumbonisa ukuthi uphambanise ngaphi. Lathi singamadoda siyaphambanisa imihla ngemihla emzini yethu.

Lingathi yikuba soft bantu ngoba ngilitshapha ezandleni. Kusizani ukutshaya umuntu ongazoze akubisele? Kuthi kunjalo kangithandi ukuzwa kuthiwa omunye utshomi utshaye udadewethu ngoba mina lami kangitshayi unkosikazi. Lapho I swear zihlobo, ngingathi ngivakatshele udadewethu ngithole emankobonkobo umkhenyana emtshayile, ziyakhala izibhakera zizeziyevalwa. Nxa ukhangela indoda ukuba ingalo zayo zingakanani, uzilinganise lezomuntu wesifazane vele kakuhambelani. Nxa inkosikazi ingakuzondisa, thatha i-walk kumbe uye eB/F iBosso idlala lamashona uyebhodlisela ematshabini. Phela labo yibo abatshaywa loma bengasiqalanga, labo bayakwazi. hk hk
Kuthi laba abafowethu abatshaywa ngamanina abo, hatshi zamani bantu lani ukwenza something njengokuya eGYM njengoba uDokotela etshilo ngaphambilini. Kangitsho ukuthi liye eGYM liyethwalela omkenu insimbi. Phela nxa lawe ule well developed body, unkosikazi uyazibuza kabili kathathu ukuthi uzakukwanisa lokhu asezama ukukuqalisa (fighting). Vele nxa sokuliwa ngezandla kumbe langezikhali (nduku, bhanti etc) kakuselathando. Liyabe lisahlalelani ndawonye bantu. Madoda, lets treat abafazi bethu njengama best friends ethu. Nxa okwasenza sahlangana kungasekho, kungcono sehlukane kuloku torture abantana babantu.

ngiyake ngihleke amantombazane emzansi nxa ekhuluma.wona akholwa ukuthi ukutshaywa ku part and parcel of uthando.uzwe kusithi, "ungibetha nje eng'thanda".

Hatshi. Ukutshay umfazi akukuhle. Kodwa eyami intombi yangibamba nge Collar ngilibele ethi ufuna ukungitshaya ngoba ngiyazenzisa. Enza njalo ngoba esazi ukuthi U ma Hetsiii vele katshayi.

Angisambhaxabulanga nje. Khathesi ......Good muntu.

wayesefuna ukudelela

Indoda etshaya umfazi is communicationg nothing but violence, disrespect, abuse, power, hegemony, loss of self-contorl, insecutity, cowardice, low self esteem and much more. Sengilusane mina oluthi nxa sehlulene enkulumeni sengifakwa ibhanti ? I might as well not be anything of significance empilweni yakho. Impama ilulaza lomtwana bantu.Pho ke emuntwini omdala?

Abafazi labo kumele bazi ukuthi akuqalwa ukubamba umuntu nge collar. Khona ngokwakho yi assault elendelelo ephezulu. Njalo kuyatshayisa .

Mabila uma ungunkosikazi wami. Ungatshiyana lokungibamba nge collar kumbe ukungihlaba ngomunwe esiphaqeni. Ungaze uzifele ungazange ufakwe isandla ntombazane

Awusatshayi ngo bongani Mathimula kulokutshaya ngesibhakela nxa umthanda lowo mama ongela mbeko ongakhekanga lowo? UBongani usebenzani kanti? Qondisa ukhulise umuzi wakho ngo bongani. Isandla siyadiliza.

hk hk hk. Ungangibulali so. ...Mabila. Manje iproblem yikuthi nxa ungazonda vele uBongani uhle azithulele. Engani vele kazake abe khona. N

Ngacina ngihlale phansi laye ngabonga esikhathi esihle esaba laso.

:hk hk hk hk hk hk uyqinisile mabila

Nxa uthe wathola ofuna ibhantui, ngezinye izikhathi unga mmekela na? ungaba yimpintshi engatshayiyo ekwazi uku sebenzisa ubongani kuphela, kodwa umfazi efisa ukukubona ulobhova kanye nge nyanga, ungenzani? uyathi hhayi mina angikwazi uku tshaya umuntu?

Mina sengike ngahlangana labo abafisa ukuthi ngelinye ilanga uvuke ubhova. Njalo nge nxa ye soft-soft bacine bebona kungcono ukwedlulela phambili. Yikho ke lokhu sokungi fundisa ukuthi umfazi engathi, kanti uyimpintshi bani engazondiyo, kumele ngibekwazi ukuthi usefuna ibhanti. Ngi mkarabhe blayind aze achame, ngithi ngi qeqa lapho ngimncenge bese ngimtshaya ngomthondo njalo aze achame njalo.

Induku ayakhi umuzi kodwa iayawu qondisa.

Ngezwa besithi umfazi katshaywa ngesi bhakera kodwa nge banti, ematandeni lapho okungasoze ku ride muntu. Katshaywa ebusweni hhayi.

Abaziyo, batsho njalo. Ngezwa besithi loba kuke kwaba lokulwa mhlalokho, akumelanga kusweleke icansi.

Mabila angizwisisi ukuthi kanti wathi ungumfazi wasekela ukuthi abafazi batshaywe ngobongani njani?

Ukutshaya umfazi ngobongani is the worst humiliation for the woman. A guy will be using sex to seal his physical and sexual domination. Nxa indoda itshaya umfazi ngobongani iyabe isithini? Phela lapha asingezake sithi iyabe imtshengisa ukumthanda, ngoba uyabe eqeda ukumhlukuluza lumama. Ubongani kasetshenziswe nxa kulothando kuphela. Guys lets not encourage each other to sexually assault women, even if they are our wives. Ingani belilokhe lisithi icansi kumele landulelwe ngabokhisi, hugging, caressing, all manner of romance, kanti selijikisa njalo selifaka lodlakela phakathi komdlalo omuhle kangaka.

Dokotela khombisa umfazi ozithembayo mfowethu. Lo ozeyisayo ofuna ukutshaywa kazithembi, she lacks confidence and self esteem, and she believes violence is a declaration of love. Kambe wena Dokotela unje ungafuna umfazi okuthethisa nsukuzonke? Kungakuphatha kuhle? Kuyangiphica nje ukuthi kuthiwa kulabafazi abafuna ukutshaywa ngebhanti, phezu kwalokho bafune ukubethwa njalo ngobongani? Mina ngibona kuqondile ukuthi icansi libekhona nxa selixolelene ukuzonda sekuphelile. Mina vele ngiyakwazi ukuthi icansi kangiliboni nxa umkami ezondile.

Asithandaneni bantu ezindlini la sitshiyane lobudlwangudlwangu lodlakela? Okoniwa ngomlomo kakulungiswe ngomlomo.