What is a person supposed to do with a habitual cheating spouse?

How do you know they are cheating??

ask your self why he/she cheating on you in the first in the first place then you will know what to do.

Uthi wena they cheat on you habitually. If kunjalo, mkhulule ahambe(assuming ukuthi sekulemzamo emningi esiyenziwe ukumngqanda kungatshintshi lutho).

Uma usutholile, noma unobufakazi obugcwele umkhulule ahambe. Kufanele unanzelele ukuthi olala nesifebe usehlanganyele naye ekufebeni. Ukufeba kuyikungcolisa umzimba wakho.

Kambe usekhona ngalesi sikhathi ongabe esaqilana nomunye wakhe? isimo sinjena ezweni? Engaba esekhona ngalesisikhathi umuntu odla angakwazi kulezi nsuku?

Bafowethu.

Ungabona omunye wakho ENTJONTJISA, kutsho ukuthi kalukho uthando. Ngoba ngaleso sikhathi exoxa lalo omunye wena uyabe ungasekho kwezakhe ingqondo. Ukwazi nxa ekubona.

Onjalo THINTITHA. Uzanamathela lapho afuna khona. Ungabona usehluleka ukuthintitha, kutsho ukuthi lawe uyabe usuzilahle amathambo, awusengumuntu walutho.

Li Zwangendaba.

Ungabona omunye wakho ENTJONTJISA, kutsho ukuthi kalukho uthando. Ngoba ngaleso sikhathi exoxa lalo omunye wena uyabe ungasekho kwezakhe ingqondo. Ukwazi nxa ekubona.

Mahle amagama akho mhlobo wami uma singananzelela kahle uma umuntu eselala nomunye uyabe esazi ukuthi uyaqila omunye wakhe. Izinsuku zanamuhla zimbi bobaba nabomama, uzalutheza olunameva.

Haven't you heard the say that says "eye for an eye",kick them where is it hurts,go and cheat aswell and i guarantee this will really get to them hk hk hk hk

Mabila, I know they ar cheating because there is over whelming evidence. One example: A message is dlivered by an ignorent person straight to me not knowing that I am not supposed to know. The message is saying wathi zii kutheni You try to contact the sender of the massage she is totally shocked to discover the husband has a wife. You ask the husband he denies knowing the person. the person gets furious over that and is prepared to come to yo home to prove that they are in love and she even has witnesse in the form of her sisters and aunties who claim to know the relationship. However the spouse refuses to meet any of these pple and when they fon he can't even talk to them, uyagagasa nje efonini. Asi bufakazi yini lobu ukuthi lumutntu ungidlala idust.

Xhaka! Umbambile Nqoba! Kalaqiniso lumuntu! Aluba uyaxolisa phela njengoba esebanjiwe. Kumele agebhe igodi angaphindi njalo into efana laleyo ngoba udlala ngempilo yakho ensukwini ezesabeka kangaka ngemikhuhlane esikhona. There is absolutely no excuse for that behaviour kodwa, umuntu oxolisayo uyamxolela ngoba izilingo ngezomuntu wonke! He is not even protective of you, nanku usuzalandwa emzini wakho uzohlankalwa ngamampama.

ukuthi kungaba ngumkhuhlane yini? Akwenzakali yini ukuthi umuntu ehluleke ukuzibamba (siyazi kukhona abasifazana abalesigweba)? Angitsho ukuthi kulungile to do that, kodwa ukwakhiwa kowesilisa lowesintwana kwehlukile when it comes to having sex. Umuntu wesilisa will have sex without emotions attached, hence uyenelisa ukuthi athi ehamba lomkakhe umbone eselunguza omunye umfazi, and lusting after her enhliziyweni. Once esithela nje ngale, usephumile engqondweni yakhe and usebuka omunye. If he is given a chance, engahle ayelala laye. On the other hand, owesifazana will have sex with emotions attached. Hence akwandanga ukuthi umfazi ahle akuvulele nge hour lihlangene.

Ngitshilo, ngithe am not supporting cheating spouses. Angifuni kuzwa umsindo sokuthiwa uSgero what, what. Asixoxeni.

ukuthi kungaba ngumkhuhlane yini? Akwenzakali yini ukuthi umuntu ehluleke ukuzibamba (siyazi kukhona abasifazana abalesagweba)? Angitsho ukuthi kulungile to do that, kodwa ukwakhiwa kowesilisa lowesintwana kwehlukile when it comes to having sex. Umuntu wesilisa will have sex without emotions attached, hence uyenelisa ukuthi athi ehamba lomkakhe umbone eselunguza omunye umfazi, and lusting after her enhliziyweni. Once esithela nje ngale, usephumile engqondweni yakhe and usebuka omunye. If he is given a chance, engahle ayelala laye. On the other hand, owesifazana will have sex with emotions attached. Hence akwandanga ukuthi umfazi ahle akuvulele nge hour lihlangene.

Ngitshilo, ngithe am not supporting cheating spouses. Angifuni kuzwa umsindo sokuthiwa uSgero what, what. Asixoxeni.

Wat if u dont come up wit the answer? Usually the one who is being cheated will be totally devoted, emthanda umuntu for sure, emnika evrything which s/he believes to be the best thing they could need. But some pipo wont say if they 've a problem wit their partners so how the hell will the other person know. Anyway if somebody cheats on u kutsho ukuthi uthando alusekho shame, kuhle utshiye nje wekele bazamcutha phambili hk hk. Ngumbono wami lami.

I wouldn't advice a person I cared for (or any woman for that matter) to blame themselves if they were cheated upon. There's nuthing ongabuyenzile to deserve ukulethelwa umkhuhlane endlini.

I think for a habitual cheat the best is to leave.

Awusaqedanga Sigero, Bengingajabula uba ungaqhubeka uphendule imibuzo le from a male perspective. Suppose at that moment of yo weakness unkosikazi comes to know how would you react? Consider ubufakazi obulethwayo lapha and evaluate ukuthi kuyayenza yini for any normal person to outrightly deny into esobala abesekhangelela ukuthi ife i-natural death?
Also as a man uba usubheke esinye isdwaba wasigxozela indenda if you still value yo family would you go to the extent of seeing izihlobo zal'umuntu? Utsho kahle ukuthi uba esithela lumuntu utshetsha ulibale ngaye, pho ke nxa esesithi asiye kodadewethu, kobabakazi would you agree??

Mina ngibona angani kulezizatho ezinengi ezenza ukuthi umuntu acine ekhetha ukweqa uthango.

1. Engabe engatholi into ayibona iqakathekile kulumuzi. Kungabe kuluthando, icansi kumbe okunenginengi okwehlukeneyo.

2. Engabe elesagweba engasuthiseki ngepipi eyodwa. Kungabe kuyi kwejwayela ukupenselwa ngumphakathi okugcina kusenza ukuthi umuntu acine efuna yonkendoda.

Mina ngithi uma uthanda ezemacansini then marriage is not the best thing! Mina ngithi phuma ube yinsumbelume nje. After many years of marriage yu get tired of the same ol' thing madoda. Okusalayo yi friendship and respect for yo family/wife, otherwise emacansini kuyabe sokufiwe.
I experienced it and eventually left my marriage. Was married for 6 and am single for 4.

Lingixolele sengilahlekile kancane. Kanti lo oqale udaba engabe engumuntu ongu mama kumbe ongubaba? Ngitsho umabuza oqale i topic.

Bafowethu.

Mina ngizakuthi, ungakathathi, qaphela omunye wakho ukuthi ngothanda ipenseli loba umbambatho nje. Ungakubona kukwehlula lokho okuthandwa ngomunye wakho, ungaqali ukuthi marry.

Mthulisi, 6 years marriage is nothing mfowethu. UNGAVUMI ukuthi kulento engakudina ngomendo ngaphandle kokuhlala lisilwa. Sonaleso sithandwa olaso ngekhaya, uyasintshintsha ukwenza SIBESITSHA NSUKUZONKE. Nxa ulothando lento yakho, angithi uyayihlambulula??? Ingani ungathenga indlu uyantshintsha indlela amasofa abekwe ngawo ukwenzela ukuthi kube le NEW LOOK. Laso isithandwa sakho senze njalo. Keligqoke amaJEANS, kwesinye isikhathi ligqoke so FORMAL, nxa lilodwa kelihambe endlini linqunu. NEW EXCITEMENT with each day. Awusoze uthi usudiniwe. UYABE UVELE UNGASAFUNI. AKULAKUDINWA.

Li Zwangendaba.

Zwangendaba,

Ngiyakuzwa mfowethu. Kodwa uma ngikhangelisisa isiboniselo sakho zendlu ngibona sengathi siyanethela njengendlu yegagu. Yebo indlu ungayi guqula umbala lama xaba akhona lezigcabha. Kodwa uma uvele wangayakhi kuhle akusoze kukusize ngalutho. Okuqakathekileyo yikuthi uhle uyakhe ngobungcitshi, isakhelo sakhona (foundation) siqine. Uzakuthi ke usutshintsha ezama "cosmetics" kubelula. Kodwa ungatshintsha umbala lokunye yona ivele inethela akusoke kusize.

Ngakho okuqakathekileyo yikwakha imizi eqinileyo. Okutsho ukuthi uyabe udinga ulwazi lwe:

• surveyor
  
• olwe architect
  
• project manager
  
• design engineer
  
• skilled tradesmen
  
• uthi ke usuhlala kiyo ube ngu maintenance engineer ololwazi
  
• singasakhulumi phela nge "servicing"
  

Ngakho ke lokhu kukhomba ukuthi nxa kulothando konke kuyalungiseka kodwa nxa luphela lolothando sengingaze ngizibuze ukuthi lwaluvele lukhona na lasekuqaleni?

Into ehluphayo mfowethu Zwangs yikuthi umuntu nxa engakendi uyabe ezenza umyacasana, ekhuthele, lapho ekuvakashela uyabe ewasha imiganu konke lama tv, ekuphekela lesitshebo ekunikeza ikuku wayawaya nxazonke, ethanyela idladla lakho engakheri igeje lakho ebhaya ifokolo. Uyabe ekuthanda ehamba ekugone efake isandla esikhwameni sakho ma lisiya ephakhi kumbe koNando.

Umthathe ubone… Uyabe uluthezile olule nkume. Uyaqala ukuba livila elivuka emini, umbone egqoke Inightdress emnyama ezamula, amaphele esenza istokfela endlini. Kunuka phu ngoba esevundisa imiganu lama nkomisho. Uyabe engasa gezi ikuku, engasakunikezi futhi, phinde emosha isikhathi kwinto ezingela athi, esemosha imali njalo etshona ehleba ngabantu wayawaya labo makhelwana. Ungazama ukumkhuza usuqale iwoo oni irakhi.

Nxa ungabe ungu spoksi okheze umafenda onjena, uzakwenzani ma engakunikezi ukuku, kodwa kukhona otsheri abafela umthondo wakho?

Angitsho ukuthi kugrand ukupensela ngaphandle kwothango, kodwa ngibuza ngokuthi umuntu engenzani ma omunye wakho esecabange ukungashayi indiva ngendlela ezikujabulisayo?

Sabonani
Njengentombi engakathathwa, indaba yomzalwane olethe lombuzo ibuhlungu kakhulu. Nxa utshada, isifiso sakho njalo uthemba yiso isifiso somkakho yikuthi lihlalisane kuhle njengabangane lezithanda. Nxa omunye wakho eseseqa uthango kutsho ukuthi kulolutho olungaqondanga kuye. ukuphosela iblame komunye onguye oqilwayo ngibona engazathi kakuqondanga. Nxa kungakuhle ekhaya kuyakhulunywa hatshi ukuhamba ngaphandle. Umnumzana lo ongaphathanga kuhle umkakhe kumele athonisiswe icala lakhe, usisi lo azi ukuthi kungabe kulolutho alwenzileyo but to have someone cheat on you as pay back for whatever issues he has, is just wrong.

Bafowethu.

Ngiyavuma Bhudaza. Yikho ngivule ingxoxo yami ngokuthi:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Originally Posted By: Zwangendaba
Bafowethu.

Mina ngizakuthi, ungakathathi, qaphela omunye wakho ukuthi ngothanda ipenseli loba umbambatho nje. Ungakubona kukwehlula lokho okuthandwa ngomunye wakho, ungaqali ukuthi marry.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Yikho ukuyakha indlu yakho kuhle usukela phansi. Nxa ungabona lingahambelani ungaqali ukuthatha. Kuyafana lakubo dade, nxa ubona ungahambelani lalo ijaha losa. That is the strong foundation to a marriage without CHEATING. Yiyo indaba esemqoka - Cheating Spouses.

Doc, uthini??? Mina ngilokhu ngithsudula phansi sekuyizigamba zodwa amabhulugwe.

Yeh Doc, ngiyezwa baba. Yikho emandulo bekumnandi ngoba umalukazane ubezogana umndeni ekhaya, ubengezi kuwe wedwa. Sikhula besibona odadewethu labazala, labo babakazi bezitshuka intombi zabanewethu zingakezi lapha ekhaya. Lokhu "KUZIHLUKULUZA" bekuzenza zivele ubuntu bazo. Bekufana lomhloliso. Ubuthi ungabona abangakini besuthiseka, ubekwazi ukuthi usuthatha lapha. Singakhohlwa ukuthi ayikho intombi engakhomba kwehlule ukufika endlebeni zabanye abafazi. Yikho obabakazi bazakwazi ukuthi loyana mntwanyana wakolozibani, hatshi, LIBELE LENDLELA nje. Nxa ungaphikisana labo bekuxwayisa, You are bound to suffer from a CHEATING SPOUSE.

Lamajaha lawo abethwala nzima ngabanewabo bentombi labomalume. Intombi ibithi nxa ifuna ukubona UKUZIMISELA kwakho, ikwethusele ngabafowabo. Singalibali njalo ukuthi OMA-LUME yibo "amadoda" abodadewethu, abashanekazi babo. Yikho ujaha ubehlolisiswa ngo Ma-Lume bentombi as if they were in competition with him for the girl. Anga pasa lapho, intombi ibisazi ukuthi iyakwendela EMUNTWINI. Sisizwisise isindebele lapha, EMUNTWINI.

How I yearn for those days.

Isintu besimnandi zihlobo.

Li Zwangendaba.

Yikukudlala idust sibili lokhu ( nxa kunguwe)....

Cheating in marriage is possibly as old as mankind. It will still be there long after we have left this world. We have seen or heard it in our grand parents time, our parents time our time and those of our kids. I am saying this because you always know of uAunt or uBaboncane whose connections are always puzzling until omunye mainly your mother akunyenyezele what traspired.

Our parents time was good because they had strong family connections and bonds that allowed the issue to be delt with quietly and the wrong spause ahlawule and life gose on. These nolonger exist in our generations as we opt for the courts who by their nature a public institutions.

We must also consider that there is no one type of cheater in this game. So first you should identify the type your spouse is. Yes in some circumstances you may be the reason you spouse cheats on you, especially if you are insensitive to each other needs and want to have your way in all situations.

Coming to this topic. If someone refuse that they are in an affair when there is such overwhelming evidence like in this case, there you have the west type of a cheater and I don't think you can blame the wife here unless she is not telling us everything. If you realy like your family this is when you go down on you knees and beg you wife to forgive you and stop this relationship njengamanje. If you are shy, you then find a respected go between to talk to your spouse and ask for a clean start.

When someone persist as in this case, then the wrong spouse probably thinks the other cannot do anything about it as she/he probably can survive without the other so njengenkosi he/she can do what he/she wants and she/he has to live with it. Maybe akula mtshado and the wronged partner cannot afford the services of a lawyer if it has to be a divorce.

My advice in such a situation, akumtshiye for a while, let him think again whether this is what he wants. The only problem is that we are all not perfact, they may be something about us that we may feel guilty about, so evaluate all options. But be prepared for all eventualities, that this might be the last time you guys are together as him and her. Kodwa leyo decision is absolutely yours.

JUST AN INTERESTING QUESTION?
HOW DO TWO PEOPLE A MARRIED GUY OR LADY MANAGE TO DATE A SINGLE LADY OR GUY,
ESPECIALLY ON THE SINGLE PERSONS SIDE LIKE EVERY NIGHT THE MARRIED ONE HAS TO GO BACK HOME TO THEIR COUPLES,THEN THE SINGLE ONE SLEEPS ALL ALONE EGONE IDOLO LAKHE????

I think the married person is the one who goes to the single person's place so therefore the single person has a slim chance to prove that the other person is married

Let me tell you a story kuleyinye intombazana e england, yayisithi ayingeke ihambe lejaha elilomfazi, kwaba khona ijaha lilomfazi egoli, ngenxa yamaphepha ijaha alikwanisa ukufika ekhaya. Kodwa ngithi mehlo suka ngazwa kuthiwa sebehamba bonke ngathi sengimbuza wangizondela

into yokulala leyi inzima uyazama ukuziphatha sicine isigubhu sesigcwele ususele lalapho ongasiphungulela khona ngoba i handbrake(BB) lomgigo(lokhu okwenziwa ngabafazi) kuyabe kungasasebenzi sokumele uyenze khona imampela

Lezindaba zama cheating spouse zihlasimulisa umzimba. mina ngibona sengathi ukucheater has become part of life and though i do not condone it , i think very few people would remain in marriage uma singathi you have to divorce because the patner is cheating

Siyavumelana Mhlabuhlangene, ekuthini ngabe imishado iyachitheka ngokuthi omunye ubanjwe ezitika ngocansi lexhakela, ngabe phose yonke seyashabalala.

Abanengi bayaphonguvumelana ukuthi, ngithethe, lawe wendile, asihlangane ngelantshi sikholise ngocansi, sidle, sibuyele emsebenzini. Ntambama umkakhe uzamqabuza, engazi fokolo ukuthi uspoksi udle ulantshi enjani, kumbe umafenda udle ilantshi enjani.

kungabe mhlawumbe indaba yabomakhwapheni emtshadweni (in a marriage setting) is an overspill from the dating and courtship scene where it seems to me that the practice is more of a norm. while ngisabuza lapho, singayi-categoriza lento sithi thina, njengesibonelo, ukuba uprooted lokusuka kwethu emakhaya ethu kusenza sibe le sense of being out of touch with tradition whence sikubona kuyinto encane ukuthi sifebelaneni. I am of course assuming ukuthi i-incidence yokucheater emtshadweni is more prevalent ku-diasporan communities kulasekhaya, although I am quite willing ukuphikiswa.

or is it just into esisenzeka emphakathini wakulezinsuku as a result of i-general loss of ama-traditional values ethu ngokuthatheka ngezasesilungwini?

Baphi abadala bo? Nayindlu idilika. Yini le engiyizwayo? Ngiyalizwa angilizwa. Into ekhona yikuthi sesalahla okwethu sathatha okwezizwa, ezimnyama lezimhlophe. Kwezinye izizwe ngizwa kuthiwa ijaha lalivulelwa indlela ngiyise kumbe umalume. Iphutha elabakhona elikhona yikuthi ukuchinca akusekho lowonalowo usezigenela emasimini azidlele ihlobo, ngokunjalo abantwana abasafundiswa abasakhuliswa. Sokuthi kungaphiswa ngumchamo kuchamele lakungafundiswanga khona. Ibanana lomviyo ngeke kune. Ngaphandle kwemikhuhlane kufanele sazi ukuqakatheka komshado (isiko lokulobola - kusuke kuhlanganiswa amadlozi nxazombili).
Abantu nxa behlangana emacansini kubalontshinsthana kwegazi. Igazi lomunye liphila komunye ngakho nxa umuntu eyisiphingi bonke labo bantu aphinga labo bayaphila ngaphathi kwakhe. Asiqhapheleni.
Research and download teachings by Credo Mutwa (isanusi).

le yimfundiso enhle mfowethu...abantu abatshadileyo baphila ngegazi linye ngakho lo osuka aphalale useletha amagazi angaqedakaliyo emzini wakho okucina kuletha leminyama/ ukungazwananani for no reasons. ngike ngahlala leyinye intombazana ebikhombe ubaba othetheyo ibihlala ikhwezela ubabalo ukuthi atshiyane lomfazi wakhe, lakanye wamtshiya. lsimanga

Bafowethu , yekani ubufebe ngoba bumnandi kakhulu kulomtshado . Ubufebe bungakucithela umtshado wakho kodwa umtshado awubuqedi ubufebe . Bungaze bukungenisise mnfowethu , ughuuuuu , ngiyakuzwela ngoba laba abo tshukela esifeba nabo abathithizi , uma kuthiwa kuyadunuswa ikhanda litshaya phansi , uma kuthiwa kuyavulwa , unyawo luphanyekwa e windini , olunye kudressing table. Futhi lapho elihlanganela khona ( KFC /Movies / hotel), uvele afike ehamba nqunu aphinde afihle ngentanjana . indoda ngaleso sikhathi isithontisa kancane .Kodwa uma usufika ngale ( angeke ngitsho ukuthi ngale kuphi , ngivinjwa lukholo ) uthola u river Jordan . LIZAKUFA LIPHELE boMthwakazi abahle , libulawa ngumfudlana.

Nuts angazi ukuthi ekubhaleni kwako lapho usola bani? Ubaba otshiye imuli yakhe kumbe udade ? Phela singasunduzeli ububi ngangxanye if ubaba lo ubengafuni ukutshiya imuli yakhe nothing in this world would make him leave .Uzisukele yedwa.
Ubutshapha babo baba asiyonto eqala khathesi bakithi sikhule siyibona even lemakhaya.Abadala bayakwazi thats why besilaya thina mantombazane ngxa sisiyakwenda. Ngikhumbula amazwi omunye umuntu omdala owathi 'lamuhla usuyakwenda, ngezikhathi zonke khumbula ukuthi usubambane lenja(uxolo bobaba! LOL), ungaze uyiphekel inyama lakho konke okumnandi unga mangali ukuzwa kuthiwa ilele isifohlela komakhelwane isiyakudla amaqanda abolileyo'.

Into nje esivamile kulezinsuku yikuthi imitshado isichithwa yikufeba kwabomama. Esikhiweni asazi maybe indoda iyamxolela umfazi ngxa efebile but ebantwini abamnyama akwandanga so umuzi uyachitheka. Ukuchithekana kwabantu, abafazi betshiya imizi besiya kubo England ,Australia and the like sokukhweze amadivorce rates kakhulu. I have also noticed i trend yokuthi umfazi engabanguye otshiye ubaba ekhaya izinto ziphanga zonakale.I think its bcoz umuntu oyindoda will do as a man has to do......he can do that without any emotional attachment what so ever and move on (hence kulabomangumba)but abafazi we are not conditioned that way so kunzima ukungena engutsheni lomuntu ongelamafeeelings laye.

I am not condoning cheating by our man but im saying that is the nature of life. Into nje yikuthi especially emazweni lapho kuyagulwa abantu baphethwe yiNHS so pliz bobaba labo mama if you must .... gqoka ijazi uzivikele.Bengicela njalo kubobaba ukuthi ngxa usenza ubutshapha coz you cant help yourself benze nsitha ungalulazi umkakho.Bomama badalwe njalo. What guarantee do you have ukuthi the next Joe wont cheat on you? Uzahlala uthwele imithwalo kuzekube nini?Ende futhi uyaguga. To those brothers that dont and have never cheated continue to be blessed. Lani maplayers ngithi play if you must but ...CONDOMIZE PLIZ!!!

MORALS OUT OF THE WINDOW

For we are in the Diaspora
So says many of our exiles,
They have found their freedom
They have found their liberty,
Far away from parents and relatives
African morals are out of the window.
Marriages destroyed in pursuit of western freedom
Single parents now in abundance,
Co-habiting with boyfriends and girlfriends
The children are left in the limbo.
Are they not gonna be the gun touting gangsters of tomorrow?
A lost nation is born and bred in the Diaspora,
Well who cares?
We are indulging in our new found 'freedom'
For we are in the Diaspora,
Morals are out of the window.