Nangu-ke omunye ubaba engena e-restuarent ethenga ifull chicken
wayidlayedwa. Abanye osisi abango-glamour bahleli eceleni kwakhe badla
ama-chips, ama-rolls ne-liqui fruit.

Lobaba ayidle inyama yakhe ayqede phu!
Uthe eseqedile wacaba amathambo wawacabisisa. Lab' osisi badinwa
wukuthi lobaba angakwenza kanjani ukuthi aqede inyama engaka acabe
namathambo.

Bathula, bathi, "ngeke ma eh, asimbuze ukuthi ngempela yini inkinga yakhe."

Bambingelela, wavuma.
Bambuza ukuthi, "kodwa baba ungowakwabani isibongo?"

Wathi lobaba ungowakwa Mkhize.
Bathi, "uqhamukaphi nendawo ?"

Wathi lobaba "kwaMpumuza"
Abuza lamantombazane ukuthi ;
"kodwa izinja zakwa Mpumuza zidlani uma wena ucaba amathambo kangaka baba?"

Waphendula lo baba wathi, "zidla ama-chips, nama-rolls zehlise nge liqui fruit" mhlath'yenu!!!

Amadoda ayesebenza emayini eGoli. Aqale abuze

uMhlongo: "Madoda niyazi nje ukuthi uyaphuma namhlanje ejele uMandela?"

Avuma amadoda ejabule,kodwa azithulele nje uMkhize.
"Wathula Mkhize. Awumazi yini uMandela?" kubuza uMhlongo.

"Cha angimazi" kuphendua uMkhize.

"Niyahlupha Mkhize ngokungawabukeli amaTV, nilalele ama-radio nifunde namaphephandaba ukuze nazi abantu." kuphawula uMhlongo.

"Wena uyamazi uMpabanga?" kubuza uMkhize.

"Cha, angimazi." kuphendula uMhlongo.

"Unakana namaTV namaphephandaba. Wazi bonke abantu abale kude nawe kodwa awuyazi indoda edla umkakho!! Nxx!!".

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although
Very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the to wn and party with
His old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
Refrigera to r and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
Different
Countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
Think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop...but at the bar...you know...they
Have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
By saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She to ok a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
Getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't
Be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and to ok
Out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
Blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know there's swearing, dirty
Words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?...

"LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN,
SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG,
AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN' HORS D'OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A
F*CKIN' BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER...GOT IT, AS*HOLE?"

.....and, they lived happily ever after.

Mdedeleni is buying a TV and asks "Do you have colour TVs?"

"Sure" says the assistant.

Mdedeleni replies "Give me a green one, please."
------------------------------------------------------------------------



Mdedeleni calls SAA. "How long does it take to fly to New York ?"

Let me check 4 you "Just a sec" says the rep.

"Thank you" says Mdedeleni and hangs up.


------------------------------------------------------------------------


Mdedeleni was filling in an application form for a job.

He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.

Then he came to the column SALARY EXPECTED: He was not sure as to what
to be filled here. After much thought he wrote "Yes!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the
clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies "That is a thermos flask."

Mdedeleni then asks "What does it do?"

The clerk responds "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things
cold.

Mdedeleni says "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss, Mr.
Sibiya sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?" He said,
"It's a thermos." The boss then says "What does it do?"

He replies "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said "Wow, what do you have in it?"

Mdedeleni replies "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why did 18 of Mdedeleni's family members go to a movie?

Because under 18 was not allowed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


To lose weight the doctor told Mdedeleni to run eight kilometers a day
for 300 days.

After 300 days Mdedeleni called the doctor to report he had lost the
weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

"I'm 2400 Kms away from home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------




Having lost his donkey Mdedeleni got down to his knees and started

Thanking God.

A passer-by saw him and asked "Your donkey is missing; what are you
thanking God for?"

Mdedeleni replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing
too!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni got his 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate...

Mother: Xhosa.

Father: Zulu

Kid: Chinese.

"How come you write 'Chinese' when both parents are Black?"

"Aah" says Mdedeleni "I read in a newspaper that every 4th person born
in the world now is Chinese!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him
what had happened to his ears and he answered.

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the
phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
The doctor then asked:
"What about the other ear?" Mdedeleni answered: " The damn idiot called
again"




Mdedeleni is buying a TV and asks "Do you have colour TVs?"

"Sure" says the assistant.

Mdedeleni replies "Give me a green one, please."
------------------------------------------------------------------------



Mdedeleni calls SAA. "How long does it take to fly to New York ?"

Let me check 4 you "Just a sec" says the rep.

"Thank you" says Mdedeleni and hangs up.


------------------------------------------------------------------------


Mdedeleni was filling in an application form for a job.

He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.

Then he came to the column SALARY EXPECTED: He was not sure as to what
to be filled here. After much thought he wrote "Yes!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the
clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies "That is a thermos flask."

Mdedeleni then asks "What does it do?"

The clerk responds "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things
cold.

Mdedeleni says "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss, Mr.
Sibiya sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object you have?" He said,
"It's a thermos." The boss then says "What does it do?"

He replies "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said "Wow, what do you have in it?"

Mdedeleni replies "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why did 18 of Mdedeleni's family members go to a movie?

Because under 18 was not allowed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


To lose weight the doctor told Mdedeleni to run eight kilometers a day
for 300 days.

After 300 days Mdedeleni called the doctor to report he had lost the
weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

"I'm 2400 Kms away from home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------




Having lost his donkey Mdedeleni got down to his knees and started

Thanking God.

A passer-by saw him and asked "Your donkey is missing; what are you
thanking God for?"

Mdedeleni replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing
too!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni got his 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate...

Mother: Xhosa.

Father: Zulu

Kid: Chinese.

"How come you write 'Chinese' when both parents are Black?"

"Aah" says Mdedeleni "I read in a newspaper that every 4th person born
in the world now is Chinese!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mdedeleni with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him
what had happened to his ears and he answered.

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the
phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
The doctor then asked:
"What about the other ear?" Mdedeleni answered: " The damn idiot called
again"